The Pacey Principle

While I believe the logic behind The Krakow Theory is sound, I've had to give some extra thought to the central conceit that there are only two types of men in bed - the Krakows and the Catalanos. I think the theory is incomplete and that there is at least one type of man whose sexual skills are somewhere in the middle. That's why I propose amending The Krakow Theory to include The Pacey Principle. 

Pacey had relationships in high school. He may or may not have had sex but if he did it was because he was committed and patient. He's put in the time and he doesn't want to squander it. He wants to prove himself. He's probably not going to linger in the area but he's not afraid to get in there. He does what he has to do to get the job done. 

Whether Pacey is better in bed than a Krakow or a Catalano may be a judgement call. We all might need to do more research in this field of study before a diffinative conclusion can be reached. We owe it to ourselves, each other, and the world, ladies. It's FOR SCIENCE.

How Bachelorette Changed My Life

The movie Bachelorette proposed a theory that will change my life forever. 

During a coke-fueled night of prenuptial mayhem, Lizzy Caplan's Gena drops some knowledge on Isla Fisher's Katie: "There are two different types of guys in bed. Number one: Brian Krakow. Didn't have sex 'til college; super grateful; literally makes a home 'down here' - sets up shop, wants to live in it. Number two: Jordan Catalano. Terrified of the area. Won't go near it. Very good looking but, you know, not worth the time if you ask me." 

When you first hear it you can't believe what she's saying. Brian Krakow is better in bed than Jordan Catalano. That's absurd. Jordan Catalano is JORDAN CATALANO. Every girl who has ever seen him wants to have complete sex with him. No one is better in bed than Jordan Catalano. 

But then it starts to sink in. Jordan Catalano got laid without trying. He had sex with girls and they were grateful that he paid them any attention at all because he's Jordan Catalano. He got off whenever he wanted and then he went back to leaning on things and singing soulful songs about his car. Sex was easy for him to get and easy to take for granted. 

By the time Brian Krakow had sex he would have spent hundreds of thousands of hours thinking about it. Of course he would be incredibly grateful once he got to the promised land. He would have done research. He would try hard. He would care more about making a good impression than on getting off. 

Women spend their entire lives wanting Jordan Catalano. Assigning him every characteristic their dream man should have because he looks the way the perfect man should look. But Jordan Catalano isn't secretly smart. He isn't secretly romantic. He isn't secretly funny. He isn't secretly anything. Jordan Catalano is just what he appears to be - an attractive, simple guy who does just enough to get by because getting by is good enough for him.

Brian Krakow is better in bed than Jordan Catalano. 

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go reassess all of my life choices and find myself a Brian Krakow. 

Ultimate Potato Soup

1 - 1 1/2 pounds of bacon, chopped 
2 - 3 stalks celery, diced
1 large onion, chopped
3 cloves garlic, minced
8 potatoes, peeled and cubed
4 c chicken stock (or enough to cover potatoes)
2 T butter
1/4 c heavy cream
8 oz cream cheese
1 T dried tarragon
1 T dried dill
salt and pepper to taste


In a dutch oven or large stock pot, brown bacon over medium heat until crispy. Remove bacon and set aside. Drain off all but 1/4 c of bacon grease. 


Saute onion, garlic and celery in bacon grease until the unions are translucent.  Add the cubed potatoes, toss to coat and saute for 3-4 minutes. Return bacon to the pan and add chicken stock to just cover potatoes. Add tarragon and dill. Cover and simmer until potatoes are tender. 


Add butter, cream cheese and heavy cream. Cook until the cream cheese melts and serve. 

Winter and Soup Make Me Happy

I make good soup. I know that probably sounds braggy but it's true. I look forward to winter all year just so I can spend my weekends making and eating soup. Sometimes I follow existing recipes; sometimes I find recipes and tweak them more to my tastes; sometimes I make them up as I go along. Yesterday I made one up that was so good I had to name it and share it with everyone.

Italian Christmas Soup
(12+ servings)

2 pounds Italian seasoned ground Turkey or Italian sausage
1 medium yellow onion, coarsely chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 14oz cans diced Italian seasoned tomatoes
1 14oz can crushed tomatoes
1 48oz carton low sodium chicken broth
5 medium carrots, thickly sliced
2 packages cut frozen spinach
1 large zucchini, quartered and thickly sliced
1 1/2 cups dry orzo pasta
2 Bay leaves
1 T dried basil
1 T dried thyme
2 T olive oil
Salt and pepper to taste

In large stock pot, heat olive oil over medium high heat. Add garlic and sweat for 1 minute. Add onion, salt and pepper; cook until the onions are just translucent. Add meat brown. Turn heat down to low, add carrots, tomatoes, broth, basil, bay, and thyme. Cover and let simmer over low heat until carrots are tender (approximately 2.5 hours). Add spinach and zucchini, cook for 20 minutes. Add orzo and continue to cook until pasta is tender. Salt and pepper to taste. Serve topped with a bit of shredded Parmesan cheese.

We'll Be Right Back...

So You Think You Can Dance isn't the only thing I haven't had time to write about this week.  I've been swamped with work and haven't had a chance to post anything at all, sorry about that.  But I've had a couple of things cooking up for a while that I'll get up this weekend and then I'll do my best to get back to a regular posting schedule next week (the following week at the latest)! 

In the mean time, please enjoy this picture of the very sexy Timothy Olyphant.

Gone Quiet

I'd like to be telling you all about the things I've watched on TV this week.  The excitement of watching Nathan and Haley floss, the insanity of a Hellcat toga party, how I sprained a muscle rolling my eyes at everything that happened on Glee, how I've decided I want Spencer and Toby to hook up, and how I totally needed a cigarette after watching Kalinda and Blake face off. 

Unfortunately I can't talk about any of that because the job that pays me is keeping me too busy this week.  Sorry to leave you all hanging like this.  Hopefully I'll be back to normal next week.  Until then, we'll always have Vampire Diaries recaps over the weekend. 

Head And Shoulders

Does anyone else think that the super short hair has made Zac Efron seem neck-less all of a sudden?  He's still really nice to look at and his eyes still make me feel a bit swoony but I look forward to him wrapping this Marine movie and growing his hair back. 

The Groom Wore That?

Of course I'm happy for both Shania Twain and Frederic Thiebaud - it must have been incredibly painful for them both when their spouses said "hey, we've been bangin' each other and we're done with you" (I'm paraphrasing).  It's nice that they were able to pick up the pieces and fall in love with each other after that experience. 

Less nice?  That he attended the wedding in what looks like a leisure suit - complete with 1/2 open shirt and man jewelry!  Your wife is crazy-hot, dude.  Time to step it up a notch...or 50. 

Big Plans

I don't want to propel you all into jealous fits or anything but I have the best plans in the world for my extra long weekend which begins tomorrow.  I'm going to stay home for 4 days, laying either on the couch or in my bed, watching movies and eating take-out food.  

Frankly, I'm pretty excited to see how many movies I can watch in 4 days.  I'm also beginning to wonder if I'll suddenly feel movie'd out and switch to TV on DVD at some point.  God, the mystery of it all is so exciting! 

Anyway, there might be some blogging happening while I watch but there will very definitely be tweeting.  If you follow me on Twitter, you're either going to get really sick of me, or you're going to live my sloth vicariously.  It's gonna be awesome. 

Merry Christmas

It's that time of year when my family gathers together to eat way too much and drive each other crazy.  It's nearly Christmas and I still have a few last-minute gifts to buy, grocery shopping to do, presents to wrap and sedatives to take.  I'll be much to busy for the next few days to stop by here and ramble about television, movies, and celebrities who won't be doing anything worth talking about anyway. 

I'll try to watch a bunch of things over the weekend so that I have plenty to talk about next week.  Even if I don't manage that, I have some things I've been meaning to post here that I'll finally have time to put up.  Plus, I'll probably still say random things on Twitter throughout the weekend. 

In the mean time, Tibby and I wish you all a very Merry Christmas (or a happy Christmukkah, Kwanza, Festivus, agnostic chilly holiday, bonus Jewish vacation day, etc.). 

Get in the spirit!

Holiday-prep stress has been getting to me for the last week or so and I haven't been feeling terribly festive.  No need to panic though, I've found the cure:

La Femme In Space

I wonder if the boys of 30 Seconds to Mars all buy their lady jackets at the same place.  Shannon's sweater coat is maybe the least feminine of them all and it's a SWEATER COAT!   

Ch-ch-ch-changes

I know the new purple background is a little tougher on the eyes than grey, but it's for a good cause - I'm going full-on purple today (here, on Twitter, on Facebook, and my wardrobe) in support of GLAAD's anti-LGBT bullying Spirit Day campaign.  Ideally, I'd like to stamp out bullying altogether - of LGBT youths, small kids, nerds, anyone who's different in any way, etc. - and in light of the recent rash of suicides by LGBT young people, this seems like a good place to start. 

The Trevor Project

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

A Thousand Apologies

Posting has been sparse to say the least, I know, but in my own defense: I have three good excuses. 

1) I was on vacation.

2) I was really busy catching up with work after returning from vacation.

3) I'm sick. 

Current Addiction

If you haven't ever played this game, you should really get on it.  So much fun and kind of stressful in an exciting way and so aggravating when the damn zombies get past your pea shooters and eat your brains! 

Cutest Picture From The Emmys

David Burtka and Neil Patrick Harris

Ow! My Eyes!

Oh my God in Heaven! There are so many things happening with this outfit that I almost don't know where to start telling her what's wrong with it.

I'm not against mixing patterns by any means because I think that can be really fun. But they should really be patterns that are enjoyable in and of themselves for starters. They should also be patterns that have some tangential relationship to each other - like a similar or complementary color scheme for example. Hardly anything in the world should be accessorized as heavily as this but most especially not anything that is, itself, very busy. And finally, whatever you're wearing should fit you in a way that shows off the very best things about you rather than making your perfectly lovely figure look appallingly unattractive.

This outfit fails on every single level.

Nit Pickery

This is such an adorable picture of Christina Applegate who is, herself, adorable. Seriously, if you don't follow her on Twitter you should do yourself a favor and get on that. But I kinda think she could have chosen a dress that fit her a bit better. I dig it all over except in the bust, where it just doesn't do anything for her.

Why don't my ponytails ever look this good?

I wish Jennifer Aniston would stop being so effing good looking. Frankly, it's starting to get on my nerves. You know what else is kind of bugging me? I suspect she has the world's most gorgeously boring closet. If she organizes hers the same way I do mine - by color - then I'm picturing white, gray, black, navy, beige, the end. Seriously, Jen. Hire a stylist that'll give you reds, greens, bright oranges, purples, shades of blue that can't be confused with black in dim light. There is a whole color wheel out there, and I think you'd be surprised how much more irritatingly gorgeous you'd look in most of it.

If you're scared to jump right into to the deep end, maybe just start with accessories? A fuscia shoe would have kicked this outfit into a whole other gear!

Dear Joe,

You're awesome and I love you.