Summer Lovin'

I love my traditional fall-to-spring network shows but by this time every year I am ready for a break in the action, stress, drama and insanity. Fortunately, cable networks and a handful of big nets have just the antidote with a summer slate full of fun, pretty shows that are the televisual equivalent of a great beach read. Here's what I'm looking forward to this summer.

Old Favorites:

White Collar (USA, premiers July 10th) - My favorite summer show for sure. Matt Bomer's super-human beauty is a huge selling point but my favorite thing about this show is the Neal/Peter bromance. When last we saw the boys, Neal was skipping town with the stolen booty and seemingly leaving Peter to face possibly severe consequences for ever trusting Neal. It stresses me out SO MUCH when these two fight. Like, I'm not sure I've ever been in a fight of my own that was as hard on me as their fights are. But their manly love is not the only thing I enjoy about the show, it's slick and shiny and smart and fun and the supporting cast is aces (I truly adore Moz, Ellie and Sara).

So You Think You Can Dance (Fox, premiers May 24th) - The only reality show I care about at all and the only competition show the world ever needs (I know, they're fighting words). My exhaustive dance-by-dance recap/reviews of every episode should really tip you off to the fact that I love everything about this show and I really can't wait to start boring you all to death with my opinions about it once again. This year I might talk more about Cat because she deserves it.

Rookie Blue (ABC, premiers May 24) - I love it and I don't care who knows it. It's so Canadian and preposterous (seriously, why does every major crime in the whole of Toronto happen when Andie is on duty?) but who gives a shit because Sam Swarek is the swoon-worthiest TV cop since...well I can't even think of any other swoon-worthy TV cops right now. In conclusion: SAM SWAREK!

Awkward (MTV, premiers June 28th) - So funny and so much better than you'd expect from the network that brought you The Jersey Shore and 16 And Pregnant. I'm Team Matty all the way and I do think ellipses are the sluts of punctuation.

Suits (USA, premiers June 14th) - You know what USA does better than probably any other network? Bromances. As if they know that bromances are just inherently better than all other relationships, they fill their schedule with shows that could easily be called "Bromance: Art Crimes" or "Bromance: Lawyers" and if you want to complain that their shows are generic you go right ahead. I don't care if they are. I love the shit out of 'em. And I can not get enough of Gabriel Mact as Harvey Spector.

Necessary Roughness (USA, premiers June 6th) - Even when there isn't bromance involved, I'm still fairly susceptible to the type of show USA is offering up this time of year. And God help me, I really like Marc Blucas on this show. Mechad Brooks is not terrible to look at.

Jane By Design (ABC Family, premiers June 5th) - Beach read! Fluffy and silly and filled with fashiony goodness.

Leverage (TNT, premiers July 15th) - I like to watch people steal stuff. I dig heist movies and TV shows so Leverage just makes me happy. But can Parker and Hardison just be boyfriend and girlfriend already? Please? 

Melissa & Joey (ABC Family, May 30th) - Don't judge me. 


What's New: 

Bunheads (ABC Family, June 11th) - I'll be honest, the commercials that ABCF has been running for this show do not fill me with excitement. I loved Gilmore Girls but I don't really want to see "Lorelai Gilmore Teaches Ballet." And I certainly don't want to see "Lorelai Gilmore Teaches Ballet and is Played By Someone Who Isn't Lauren Graham." I'm sure Tony Award Winner Sutton Foster is going to be excellent in Bunheads but I don't want her character to be Lorelai minus the teen pregnancy, plus dancing. I hope the show surprises me and is more than just Stars Hollow, CA but I'm not feeling terribly optimistic.

Dallas (TNT, June 13th) - Obviously. Bobby, J.R., Sue Ellen, Lucy and Ray Krebs are all going to be back and portrayed by the same actors who played them in the '80s. Brenda Strong, Julie Gonzalo and Josh Henderson will join them. I mean, OBVIOUSLY.

Breaking Pointe (CW, May 31st) - I just really like watching people dance.

Common Law (USA, May 11th) - This one already premiered so I know I'm going to be watching. Not because it's particularly great, but because it's two attractive guys in a snarky bromance. I hope they spend more time in the therapy sessions in future eps though. I dig the dynamic where they just sit around and argue while the other people in the session ask questions and judge them.

Saving Hope (NBC, June 7th) - Daniel Gillies is in it. If you need more reason than that to watch, you make decisions much differently than I do.

Political Animals (USA, July 15th) - I want to live in a world where Adrian Pasdar is the President, Dylan Baker is the Vice President, Sigourney Weaver is the Secretary of State (and former First Lady) and Sebastian Stan, James Wolk, Ellen Burstyn, Dan Futterman and Carla Gugino are also present and doing things. Since that's not going to happen in real life any time soon, I'm sure as hell not going to pass up an opportunity to watch it happen on my TV.

Big Anticipation, Tiny Payoff

I just wrote up my typically long, opinionated recap of last night's So You Think You Can Dance performance finale and then Blogger ate it.  I don't have it in me to do it all again.  I might have been able to muster the inner gumption if last night's show hadn't been such a soul-sucking bore, but as it stands I just can't go through it dance, by painful dance again and then format it all and blah blah blah.  I'll hit the highlights, and mostly the lowlights and you'll all just have to be happy with that. 

Katie Holmes is the worst celebrity guest judge in the history of celebrities guest judging anything, ever.  Remember the time Ellen Degeneras came on and was a guest "judge" but all she did was crack "funny" "jokes" and never said anything about the actual dancing?  That was a study in insightful judging compared to Katie Holmes.  My favorite part was when she told Marko "I loved when you jumped up."  As did we all, Katie.  As did we all. 

After a blissfully disco-free season, they foisted a Doriana Sanchez number on us right out of the gate that was the worst disco they've ever done on the show.  Even worse than the one Mollee and Nathan did in Season 6.  It was shaky and slow and low-energy and I honestly didn't think Marko was going to make it through some of those lifts.  Melanie and Marko have spunk, talent and awesomeness to spare but none of that made its way into their disco.

Sasha and Tadd danced the world's most awkward cha-cha during which she looked like a doe who's just stood up on her unsteady legs for the first time and may tumble back to the ground at any moment while he resembled a full-grown deer...in the headlights. 

Tadd and Marko danced something called a "Gumboot Stepping" routine that was the worst addition to the show since the Russian nesting doll routine or whatever the hell that thing was called back in Season 5.  Nigel mentioned it on the show last night and then took to Twitter to say he doesn't really know why the show was so disappointing last night but it clearly hadn't occurred to him that the problem might have been that he and his fellow producers popped in some dance styles that were abysmal at best. 

The highlights included a phenomenal (in my opinion - Nigel didn't agree) performance from Marko in a Spencer Liff Broadway routine; a terrific contemporary piece from Melanie and all-star Robert; a good (but not, in my opinion, great) jazz number from Sonya Tayeh danced by Sasha and shirtless all-star Mark that once again focused all of its energy on Sasha's "struggles" which I continue to believe are mostly about her sexuality and for that reason I kind of wish they'd stop shining a spotlight on it since she clearly doesn't want to TALK about it; and finally, a really amazing performance by all-star Lauren Froderman with Marko that I know shouldn't have any bearing on anything since she's not competing, but I really thought she was breathtaking. 

My Predictions:

Tadd will come in fourth which is a very respectable finish for an untrained B-boy. 

Sasha will take third place based on the fact that two of her 5 routines last night were really terrible and one of them was completely forgettable. 

Marko will be the surprise runner-up in an upset over Sasha, carried up a notch by his interview with Cat, his frequent weeping and the adorableness of his parents. 

Melanie will win because she's had the talent all along but also the incredible personality to go with it. 

Sorry no videos this week.  Blame Blogger.  Bastards!

Prop Me Up, Buttercup

A few weeks ago I tweeted that any time a famous person talks about loving Friday Night Lights, I immediately consider them for my inclusion on my Unhateables List.  For the record, when an actor from Friday Night Lights talks about loving So You Think You Can Dance - as Scott Porter does on Twitter - I immediately award said actor a lifetime spot on that list. 

On with the show.  It was like Night of a Thousand Props in the house.  Christina Applegate was a very good "voice of the audience" judge and Lil C was completely awesome last night.  My parents have agreed that I should marry him.  Plans are proceeding apace.


Contestant: Melanie
All-Star: Twitch
Dance: Hip Hop, Tabitha and Napoleon
Song: "Roman's Revenge" - Nicki Minaj ft. Lil Wayne
I didn't like the song or the choreography and I thought Twitch out danced her.  With a "hard hitting" hip hop routine, the way I tell the people are are doing it really well from the people who are doing the best they can but aren't being quite brilliant is watching the stops.  The best ones stop and then instantly snap back, the ones who aren't quite there just stop.  Melanie just stopped.  She wasn't terrible but it was not as good as it could have been. 
Prop: Many trees
Melanie: B
Twitch: A
Choreography: B+
Overall Grade: B+


Contestant: Sasha
All-Star: Kent
Dance: Contemporary, Tyce DiOrio
Song: "Fool of Me" - Me'Shell Ndegeocello
I was pretty worried going into this that Sasha's notorious lack of chemistry with her partners, paired with her intensity, Kent's cuteness and Tyce's tendency toward sub-par choreography would combine into the perfect storm of unwatchable dancing.  That did not happen.  Kent was masculine, strong and sexy.  Sasha was full of emotion and connecting with him.  Tyce's choreography totally didn't suck.  The routine was kind of dark and forceful and dirty and both dancers were in it for all they were worth.  I quite enjoyed it. 
Prop: Wall
Sasha: A
Kent: A
Choreography: A
Overall Grade: A


Contestant: Marko
All-Star: Jannette
Dance: Paso Doble, Dmitry Chaplin
Song: "Zorongo (Traditional)" - Antonia Gomez, Ely "La Gambita", Guillermo Basilisco and Paco Peña
I just don't like the Paso Doble.  The best thing I can say about this dance is that I really liked the way her skirt moved.  Yeah.  That's it.  That's all I've got here.  I don't know how well he did - there seemed to be some shakiness during a lift or two - or even how well she did.  It was a Paso Doble and therefore the entire thing was less than good in my opinion. I'm just going to pull grades out of thin air on this.  Ready?
Prop: None
Marko: A-
Jannette: A
Choreography: A-
Overall Grade: C-


Contestant: Tadd
All-Star: Ellenore
Dance: Jazz, Sonya Tayeh
Song: "The Gulag Orkestar" - Beirut
I can't really imagine having the opportunity to work with Ellenore and wasting it with a bunch of swinging from the chandelier.  Literally, this dance was 85% swinging from a prop chandelier.  It was fine to watch but really light on dancing which doesn't do Tadd any favors this late in the game.  I don't think he was destined to win anyway but this isn't going to make anyone who was undecided vote for him. 
Prop: Chair and chandelier
Tadd: A-
Ellenore: A
Choreography: B-
Overall Grade: B-



Contestant: Ricky
All-Star: Jamie
Dance: Contemporary, Dee Caspary
Song: "Inside These Lines" - Trent Dabbs
In this installment of Propapalooza, Ricky dances with two tiny sticks that he uses to...guide Jamie's movements.  I couldn't quite tell if the sticks were supposed to represent the strings of a puppeteer or the little batons of a conductor but either way, they were a little distracting.  It was a fine dance and they did well but not one of Dee's best by any means. 
Prop: Sticks
Ricky: A
Jamie: A
Choreography: B+
Overall Grade: B+



Contestant: Caitlynn
All-Star: Pasha
Dance: Samba, Dmitry Chaplin
Song: "Drop It Low (District 78 Remix)" - Kat DeLuna
Before we talk about the dance, can we discuss the sort of frenzy I'm flung into when Dmitry and Pasha are in a room together?  Like, I don't even know how Caitlynn kept from fainting.  Then the dance starts and Pasha's shirt is open and I guess Caitlynn was dancing with him but mostly all I could see was Pasha's Pashaness.  I kind (but not really)!  She did fine though I think she was a lot sexier when she wasn't trying to be sexy.  I don't think she knows how sexy she is and it's messing with her head. 
Prop: Pasha's chest
Caitlynn: B+
Pasha: A
Choreography: A-
Overall Grade: A-



Sasha and Ricky
Dance: Waaking, Kumari Sulaj
Song: "Schoolin' Life" - Beyoncé Knowles
Good luck convincing me that waaking is a legitimate style of dance and not just other dances with wild, flailing arm movements added in for the sake of ridiculousness.  This was like a disco routine with helicopter arms and I liked it exactly as much as it sounds like I would from that description.  The worst part about it was that it felt like Ricky and Sasha were doing it at 2/3 speed.  It needed to be faster, more with the music and they needed to be showing a lot less concentration on their faces.  I saw way too much of the effort here. 
Prop: None
Sasha: A-
Ricky: B+
Choreography: B-
Overall Grade: B



Melanie and Tadd
Dance: Broadway, Spencer Liff
Song: "(Where Do I Begin) Love Story (Away Team Remix)" - Shirley Bassey
Dear Spencer Liff, I love you. Yours forever, Me.  The narrative of this dance is like a very short movie: we're back stage at a Broadway musical. Tadd is the choreographer and in the service of trying to get the routine he wants out of Melanie, he leads her to believe he loves her.  She falls for his charms and they dance together with passion but as soon as she gets the piece just right, he walks away from her and she's heartbroken that he played her for a fool.  If there is anything better than Melanie's dancing, it's watching her ACT the routine.  I will forever point to this number to underscore my assertion that Melanie is BRILLIANT.
Prop: Mirror and chair
Melanie: A+
Tadd: A
Choreography: A
Overall Score: A+



Caitlynn and Marko
Dance: Jazz, Sonya Tayeh
Song: "Heavy in Your Arms" - Florence + the Machine
This is my favorite Sonya jazz routine in a couple of years. It was incredibly fluid and airy while still being sort of dark and strong.  Both dancers were so inside the music that it felt as though their movements were being controlled by external forces and not by their own efforts.  They were incredible and the choreography pushed them to greatness and gave them the chance they needed to show us why they made it this far. 
Prop: None
Caitlynn: A
Marko: A+
Choreography: A+
Overall Grade: A+


Predictions:
Nigel Lythgoe tweeted that they will not reveal "bottom four" this week so instead we'll just find out which boy and which girl received the fewest votes from America. 
Going Home: Ricky and Caitlynn, as it should be. 

Oompa Loompa, Dopey-Ass Shoes

Some weeks So You Think You Can Dance is so good it almost overwhelms my brain.  There was so much exquisite dancing last night that I can scarcely imagine sending people home anymore. 

In case the celeb judges and out-sized personalities are more your speed, they had that in spades last night with the orangest man in history, Rob Marshall and the weirdest woman who isn't Grace Jones, Lady GaGa at the judges' desk.  GaGa wore some of her signature crazy hoof shoes.  Rob Marshall made Mary Murphy look like a color found in nature. 


Contestant: Sasha
All-Star: Pasha
Dance: Quickstep, Jonathan Roberts
Song: "Puttin' On The Ritz" - Terry Snyder
If Pasha got on stage and danced with a cardboard cutout, there would still be chemistry, that's how electric the man is (mixing metaphors!).  Still, this is probably the weakest chemistry he's ever had with a partner and I'm beginning to think that her previous lack of sizzle was more about her than it was Alexander.  She did a good job with the fast footwork and holding her frame and carriage but there was a discernible difference in bounce between her and Pasha.  And her getup was just off - there seemed to be no reason at all for that grass head wreath she had on with her sparkly, fringe dress.  I suspect they may have been trying to play up her "pretty" by disguising the side of her head that's shaved. 
Sasha: A-
Pasha: A
Choreography: A
Overall Grade: A-



Contestant: Caitlynn
All-Star: Ivan
Dance: Hip Hop, Marty Kudelka
Song: "Let Me Love You" - Mario
Did anyone else forget exactly how fantastic Ivan was?  I remembered that he was adorable; I remembered he was insanely likable; but somehow I forgot that his hip hop is so perfectly fluid and engaging.  He was amazing in this routine which had a sort of Sabra/Dominic "Make It Work" vibe to it.  It was a good routine and I thought Catilynn was good in it.  The judges felt that Ivan out-danced her a bit and I don't necessarily disagree but I didn't think the disparity was as noticeable as they did and their chemistry was excellent. 
Caitlynn: A
Ivan: A+
Choreography: A
Overall Grade: A


Contestant: Jordan
All-Star: Ade
Dance: Jazz, Tyce DiOrio
Song: "Nutbush City Limits" - Tina Turner
Sweet pickles and milk, the choreography of this number did not match the music AT ALL!  Both Jordan and Ade executed the movements very well and no one is going to deny that Jordan's legs and flexibility are insane, but the routine itself was a lot of nothing.  Much like his Broadway routines, this felt like a lot of moves with no transitions.  A lot of thoughts with no cohesion.  A lot of stuff with no direction.  And I don't care how fabulous and strong Ade is, he's not going to overcome a boring jazz routine when his partner lacks spark, as Jordan does for me.  Technically she's good, but I got nothing from her in that performance.
Jordan: A
Ade: A
Choreography: B-
Overall Grade: B


Contestant: Melanie
All-Star: Neil
Dance: Contemporary, Mandy Moore
Song: "Total Eclipse of the Heart" - Bonnie Tyler
Melanie is my favorite contestant of all time.  Neil is easily in my top 5.  The two of them together is almost too much awesome, and when they are dancing to one of the greatest songs ever while wearing dreamy pajamas...I'm not going to lie, this dance could have been total shit and I still would have loved it.  Actually there were a couple of spots in the choreography that I wasn't crazy about - spots where it got clunky or felt half baked - but when the dancers are this brilliant and dance with the sort of abandon that these two do, it almost doesn't matter.  They overcome the awkward moments with sheer talent and charisma.  And the second she goes running full out and flies half way across the stage into his arms, everything else ceases to exist.  She's astonishing.  The dance was emotional and SO sexy with an ending that made me catch my breath.  And Neil still gives me tingly feelings. 
Melanie: A+
Neil: A
Choreography: A-
Overall Grade: A



Contestant: Ricky
All-Star: Anya
Dance: Jive, Jason Gilkison
Song: "River Deep, Mountain High" - Celine Dion
I've seen Anya dance live and the woman is for real, but whereas I feel like Pasha makes every one of his novice partners seem better, she sometimes highlights the flaws in her partners.  That may be the difference between having the expert lead vs. having the expert be led and in that case that's no fault of hers.  But what I'm saying is, Ricky came off seeming a bit weak in this dance.  He's a wisp of a boy and she's a solid, not small woman and some of the lifts looked labored.  The choreography was top-notch and the ending lift was so good, but overall, I thought he lacked the star-quality you need to hold your own next to Anya.
Ricky: B+
Anya: A
Choreography: A
Overall Grade: A-



Contestant: Jess
All-Star: Lauren Gotlieb
Dance: Hip Hop, Tabitha and Napoleon
Song: "Take A Bow" - Rihanna
Tabitha and Napoleon have never met a dance they can't turn into a story.  This one is about how Jess cheated on Lauren and is trying to win her back.  My first problem with this dance is that I didn't get much chemistry from the two of them and I couldn't tell if it's because she was doing such a good job acting "done" with his cheating ass or if she kind of doesn't like Jess.  It really could have gone either way.  The second thing I wasn't crazy about was the rose.  It was just an incredibly unnecessary prop for both the dance and the story.  But I thought Jess danced this with a sort of Ivan-y smoothness while Lauren hit everything really hard and I preferred Jess in the routine.  I don't often think people out-dance Lauren Gotlieb because that girl is the shit but her movement was big in this one where Jess's were smaller and more fluid and after seeing Ivan dance and how perfectly small and intricate his movements are, I just found myself much more drawn to the smoother, groovier energy here. 
Jess: A
Lauren: A-
Choreography: A-
Overall Grade: A-



Contestant: Tadd
All-Star: Lauren Froderman
Dance: Jazz, Mandy Moore
Song: "Another One Bites The Dust" - Queen
Apparently they're a couple of cool-ass crooks pulling off a heist.  I don't care what they were, they both looked hot.  They danced it well, even after Tadd lost his hat and had to carry on the second half of the routine pantomiming hat choreography without an actual hat.  Will these choreographers ever get over props?  I liked the vibe of the dance and the way the two gelled on stage.  The judges are always throwing around the word "swag" as if it means something (it does, but not what they think) but what I saw with these two in this dance was that they have a relaxed and sort of infectious swagger (that's right, kids! Adding that extra syllable to your word will, in fact, give it meaning!).  They danced that routine like they were the shit and they did actually look like the shit, in my opinion.
Tadd: A
Lauren: A
Choreography: A-
Overall Grade: A-



Contestant: Marko
All-Star: Allison
Dance: Contemporary, Sonya Tayeh
Song: "I Know It's Over" - Jeff Buckley
Sonya's Jazz routines have gotten to be so predictable of late that I was not expecting her to come out with a contemporary piece this emotional and affecting.  It was powerful and fluid and beautiful and the dancers were brilliant in it.  Allison does for her contemporary partners what Pasha does for his ballroom partners - elevates the piece with her own brilliance so that the person she's dancing with almost has no choice but to be brilliant along side her.  Which is not to say that Marko wouldn't have been brilliant all on his own because he probably would have been.  This piece felt like holding your breath until you can't anymore, gasping for air and then holding your breath again.  Yeah, I know, that's the kind of wacky thing Mia Michaels would probably say but watch it and tell me if you don't see it the same way. 
Marko: A+
Allison: A+
Choreography: A+
Overall Grade: A+



Contestants: Caitlynn and Tadd
Dance: Foxtrot, Jonathan Roberts
Song: "Top Hat, White Tie and Tails" - Ella Fitzgerald
Appropriately classy and elegant for a foxtrot though it felt a bit more waltzy to me.  I thought they both did an admirable job of holding their frames and picking up the rise and fall but Tadd seemed a smidge crouched about the knees.  I don't notice the "competition" mugging from Catilynn the way Nigel does or the "give me a trophy" hands that Lady GaGa apparently saw.  I just thought they both looked like non-ballroom dancers doing a yeoman's job with a fairly stiff ballroom style.  I enjoyed it.
Caitlynn: A-
Tadd: A-
Choreography: A-
Overall Grade: A-



Contestants: Marko and Ricky
Dance: Hip Hop, Tabitha and Napoleon
Song: "Bad Boy For Life" - Diddy ft. Black Rob and Mark Curry
The judges loved this.  Like, Mary was all up out of her chair, shouting about it.  I thought the choreo was fine but nothing special and the dancing was kind of a mess.  Neither one sold it as much as they should have but Ricky was a little bit terrible.  Slow, laboured, and lacking any of the believable 'tude you need to be playing a janitor dancing to a song called "Bad Boy For Life."  What the judges were seeing I'm not quite sure but for my money, this was the weakest routine of the night and the performance that will seal Ricky's fate as the next boy heading home.
Marko: A-
Ricky: B-
Choreography: A-
Overall Grade: B-



Contestants: Jordan and Jess
Dance: Rumba, Jason Gilkison
Song: "Set Fire To The Rain" - Adele
Using my favorite Adele song seemed like a good way to win me over but it didn't quite work out the way I expected.  For starters, the choreography didn't match the music terribly well.  And I know they had to make Jordan dance barefoot to keep her from towering over teeny, tiny Jess but it looked odd.  I thought he did a good job of "smoldering" in the movements but she once again appeared to be projecting her "sexiness" to the back row and ignoring her partner completely.  There's a thing she does when she dances where she spends as much time as possible looking out at the audience and then, when she faces her partner, she looks through that person instead of at them.  It's distracting and disconnecting.  I didn't buy her in it but I thought Jess did pretty well. 
Jordan: B+
Jess: A-
Choreography: B+
Overall Grade: B+



Contestants: Sasha and Melanie
Dance: Jazz, Sonya Tayeh
Song: "Game On" - District 78
I can spend all day telling you how bored I am with Sonya's jazz routines but when she's on her game, she is ON HER GAME.  This dance was different enough from what I've gotten used to from her but still with the same sort of girl power, in your face, creepy weirdness that gets under your skin and makes your hairs stand up.  I'm not sure it would have been quite as awesome if different people were dancing it but with these two girls it was out of this world.  I found Melanie a little more captivating but it's partly because she's my favorite and partly because I feel like she dances with more warmth and openness - like she's dancing from her heart while Sasha dances from her head.  Melanie's heart draws my eye every time.  The judges loved the dance and GaGa threw her hoof shoes at the dancers and Sonya. I guess that's a thing.
Sasha: A
Melanie: A+
Choreography: A
Overall Grade: A+

Predictions:
Bottom Girls: Jordan and Shasha
Bottom Boys: Ricky and Tadd
Going Home: Jordan and Ricky

Dancing With The All-Stars

Now that we've winnowed it down to our So You Think You Can Dance Top 10, the dancers will be paired each week with All-Stars in whatever style that All-Star specializes in (or, in the case of contemporary and jazz dancers, any style the show fucking pleases), presumably so we can see which dancers are the shit and which dancers are kind of shitty. 

Neil Patrick Harris is our celebrity guest this week and apparently Nigel expects him to be so fantastic we didn't even need to round out the panel with a choreographer.  I had similar expectations because I love NPH but I'll just say this: when it comes to SYTYCD, Neil Patrick Harris is no Jesse Tyler Ferguson.


Contestant: Marko
All-Star: Chelsie
Dance: Samba, Jason Gilkison
Song: "Cinema Italiano (The Ron Fair Remix)" - Kate Hudson
To the extent I could even see him while he danced next to the amazing Chelsie Hightower, I thought he did a good job.  There didn't seem to be a whole lot of figures 8 in this routine, at least not for him, but it was a fun dance to watch and I have nothing to knock Marko for.  If you can keep up with Chelsie, you're alright in my book. 
Marko: A-
Chelsie: A+
Choreography: A
Overall Grade: A


Contestant: Jordan
All-Star: Brandon
Dance: Contemporary, Dwight Rhoden and Desmond Richardson
Song: "Who You Are (Live Acoustic Version)" - Jessie J
Desmond and Dwight usually deliver beautiful contemporary pieces that lean heavily toward the ballet end of the dance spectrum.  This was no exception.  It was a pretty routine and they danced it very well.  I can not find fault with the way that Jordan dances her assigned routines.  She's strong, she's competent and I rarely have to bitch about a lack of performance from her.  But there's little about this dance that I will remember come next week. 
Jordan: A
Brandon: A
Choreography: A
Overall Grade: A


Contestant: Tadd
All-Star: Comfort
Dance: Hip Hop, Chuck Maldonado
Song: "Look at Me Now" by Chris Brown featuring Lil Wayne and Busta Rhymes
I don't get the Comfort hype.  I've never thought she was particularly amazing at hip hop and have found her merely adequate in ever other style. Still, she's either the only female hip hop dancer they can get to come back as an all-star or the judges and producers really think she's the best.  Either way, here she is. She is not the least thrilling thing about this dance though.  I thought it was fine but I wasn't wowed.  The dancing was fine, the steps were fine the music was annoying (but fine, whatever) but it all added up to just...fine. 
Tadd: A-
Comfort: B+
Choreography: B
Overall Grade: B


Contestant: Mitchell
All-Star: Melody
Dance: Broadway, Tyce DiOrio
Song: "Take Off With Us" - All That Jazz soundtrack
Are you sitting down? Because I don't want you to faint from the shock of what I'm about to tell you.  I did not like this Tyce DiOrio Broadway routine.  I know! Once again it all looked like something Rona Mae McLintock, who teaches intermediate jazz at Dance, Dance, Dance studio in Boise would have choreographed for her 12-14 year olds class.  Mitchell danced it very well (despite what Nigel tries to tell us) but Melody lacked pizazz and the whole number just felt flat and disjointed.  Which, incidentally, is what NPH thought too.  For the first time in history a judge on this show calls Tyce out for his poor choreography (noting that it seemed "not incredibly thought out") so no matter what he does for the rest of his life, Neil will always be my hero. Then Mary and Nigel back pedal like Tyce has pictures of them both in an even more compromising position than the other week when Nigel kissed her and grabbed her left breast on national television. 
Mitchell: A-
Melody: B-
Choreography: C-
Overall Grade: C


Contestant: Caitlynn
All-Star: Pasha
Dance: Tango, Leonardo Barrionuevo and Miriam Larici
Song: "Malajunta" - Orquesta Color Tango
My current theory is that it's IMPOSSIBLE to dance poorly when you're dancing with Pasha.  He's so confident and effortless in his own dancing and in how he leads his partner.  That's not to take anything away from Caitlynn, who was fantastic, but I can't imagine anyone who is more present for their partner than Pasha is.  And it doesn't hurt that he is one of the sexiest people on planet earth either.  This dance was intimate and smoldering and sexy and I loved every flick, every kick, every single second of it. 
Caitlynn: A
Pasha: A+
Choreogaphy: A
Overall Grade: A


Contestant: Sasha
All-Star: Twitch
Dance: Hip Hop, Christopher Scott
Song: "Misty Blue" - Dorothy Moore
The routine starts over the breakfast table of a couple clearly embroiled in a bit of marital discord.  She wants attention and he's not giving it.  She decides to take it at any cost and they throw-down starts.  She's up over the table, she's in his face, they're dancing, she's rippin' her belt off, he's taking off his jacket, they're dancing, they're gettin' down with it, they're back on the table and at the end, they've rekindled something and it is on! The dance was amazing - stylized and interesting and narrative and smooth.  Both dancers did an amazing job and had undeniable chemistry (though, to be fair, sometimes I think Twitch would have chemistry with a tree). 
Sasha: A+
Twitch: A+
Choreography: A+
Overall Grade: A+


Contestant: Jess
All-Star: Kathryn
Dance: Contemporary, Stacy Tookey
Song: "The Lonely" - Christina Perri
After being "dinged" for several weeks by Nigel for how Nigel THINKS he isn't good enough at lifts because Jess is so tiny, Jess and Stacy are out to prove that he can pick a girl up.  He does indeed lift her and the two dance together very well but I'm still missing something from Jess that I can't quite put my finger on.  I just haven't connected with him the way I do with some of the other dancers. 
Jess: A-
Kathryn: A
Choreography: A-
Overall Grade: A-


Contestant: Melanie
All-Star: Pasha
Dance: Viennese Waltz, Jason Gilkison
Song: "Everybody Hurts" by Tina Arena
The wardrobe department would never let Pasha leave the building without first showing us his chest so he's in an open white shirt while Melanie is in a flowy white dress.  He's in a bad way and she is his "rock" getting him through it.  It matters not at all what the story is because they dance it like a dream.  I would have sworn they were dancing on clouds it was so ethereal.  Then it ends like I'd like all dances to end - with Pasha on his knees, bare chested.  What? Like you weren't thinking it!
Melanie: A
Pasha: A
Choreography: A
Overall Grade: A


Contestant: Ricky
All-Star: Allison
Dance: Jazz, Tyce DiOrio
Song: "Precious Things" - Tori Amos
Surprisingly dark for a Tyce routine, this was better than I expected it to be, thanks in large part to the power Allison and Ricky brought to it.  Ricky was really able to come alive next to someone who was IN the dance instead of just dancing it. 
Ricky: A
Allison: A
Choreography: A-
Overall Grade: A


Contestant: Clarice
All-Star: Robert
Dance: Bollywood, Nakul Dev Mahajan
Song: "Aila Re Aila" - Khatta Meetha (Soundtrack)
Did you all know Robert was an expert in the art of Bollywood dancing?  Neither did I.  I did know that Robert was an expert in the art of being awesome though so, here we are.  This is a super fast routine but much like I felt during Tadd's hip hop number, super fast doesn't necessarily mean super good or super interesting.  It just means...super fast.  They dance it well but when it's all said and done, it's another two person Bollywood routine that leaves me completely cold. Large groups for Bollywood or nothing at all, Nigel!
Clarice: A
Robert: A
Choreography: B-
Overall Grade: B


In the Bottom:
Mitchell and Ricky dropped to the bottom of the pack.  I think Mitchell suffered from the short-straw routine he picked and Ricky might be seeing the ramifications of getting stuck with Ryan for so many weeks. Jordan and Clarice were the bottom two girls.  Jordan's personality is not winning her any friends in the audience, no matter how good her dancing is, and Clarice's utter lack of a personality means no one gives a crap if she goes home. 

Sent Home:
Mitchell, who arguably had 5 more weeks on the show than he should have after the judges declined to send anyone home when he sat out the first week due to injury.  And Clarice who, if she taught us anything, taught us that it's better to have a repugnant personality (Jordan) than no personality at all. 

Next week: A new batch of All-Stars and guest judge Lady GaGa. 

Double Their Dancing, Double Our Fun

After a bumpy week, we're back on track with a rather excellent performance episode of So You Think You Can Dance with celebrity judge Jesse Tyler Ferguson and first time choreographer guest judge Sonya Tayeh.  Not only were both of the guest judges entertaining, everyone worked up some genuine criticisms instead of the steady stream of praise they've managed so far this season.  As if all of that weren't enough, we had the maximum amount of dancing possible with very little filler as each couple danced twice! 

Sasha and Alexander

Dance: Paso Doble, Tony Meredith and Melanie LaPatin
Song: "Alley Dash/March of the Trolls" - Taylor Long/Rick Powell
This would have been a fairly brilliant routine for the next time two dudes have to dance a ballroom routine together but instead they played to the fact that Sasha is a sort of over-powering dancer in her partnership with Alexander.  Rather than a man and his cape, this was like two people fighting over who was in charge.  It was strong and dramatic but I thought he was a little steadier than she was. 
Sasha: B+
Alexander: A-
Choreography: A-
Overall Grade: A-

Dance: Jazz, Tyce DiOrio
Song: "That's Life" - Aretha Franklin
This was the Broadway-iest Jazz routine I can remember seeing on the show.  There was a lamp post and some kicks but mostly it was one of those dances that disappears from my memory as soon as it's over.  What I remember was that Alexander once again out-shone Sasha in this routine.  She danced it fine but there was no moment for her, no spark.  Alexander had moments and sparks.  And then Sasha tripped and fell at the end but the camera work (which continues to be the very worst thing about this show) kept us from seeing her feet to know exactly what she tripped over, and then Alexander dragged her away.  In the end my reaction can best be summed up as "well...that happened." 
Sasha: B
Alexander: A-
Choreography: C
Overall Grade: B

Jordan and Tadd

Dance: Contemporary, Travis Wall
Song: "Brotsjór" - Ólafur Arnalds
Jordan is a vulture of a woman, swooping in to take advantage of and mistreat the broken shell of a man that Tadd has become.  The wardrobe department, having an uncharacteristically weird week all-around, went sort of literal with Jordan's feathery costume but the dance was amazing.  It was powerful and dark and sort of teetered on the edge of complete weirdness without ever becoming too avant garde for the average viewer.  Tadd's lines and extensions and toes were insane and I had to remind myself on three separate occasions that he's a break dancer.  Jordan was very strong in the routine as well. 
Jordan: A
Tadd: A
Choreography: A+
Overall Grade: A

Dance: Broadway, Spencer Liff
Song: "Out Tonight" - Daphne Ruben Vega from Rent (Original Cast Recording)
In the past, I've advocated for Spencer to do all of the Broadway routines for the show but this was an off night for him.  This routine was limp and uninteresting.  I suppose the dancers could have done something more with it if their performances had been extraordinary but it wasn't and so this whole number was perfectly lack-luster. 
Jordan: B
Tadd: B
Choreography: B-
Overall Grade: B

Ryan and Ricky

Dance: Broadway, Spencer Liff
Song: "All I Need is The Girl" - Frank Sinatra
The choreography here was a touch better than his Rent routine.  This had a very Breakfast At Tiffany's feel to it but the energy from the dancers wasn't great and Ryan's kicks were very tentative.  The performance as a whole was boring and worse than that, it was an unfortunate reminder that these two are still here while Ashley and Chris aren't.  Ashley and Chris had pizazz and pizazz is exactly what this number lacked.
Ryan: B-
Ricky: B+
Choreography: B+
Overall Grade: B

Dance: Cha-Cha, Louis Van Amstel
Song: "Tonight (I'm Lovin' You)" - Enrique Iglesias feat. Ludacris
I enjoyed the choreography on this one which felt complex and energetic.  I also thought Ricky danced his ass off.  But Ryan started out strong but very quickly became awkward.  She was tentative and wobbly in a way that felt as though she was unsure of the steps and didn't believe she could do them right even if she knew them. I spent much of the routine thinking about how awesome it would be if danced by someone else. 
Ryan: C+
Ricky: B+
Choreography: A
Overall Grade: B

Caitlynn and Mitchell

Dance: Hip Hop, Christopher Scott
Song: "Break the Chain - Lupe Fiasco feat. Eric Turner and Sway
I have nothing against a choreographer making a political or socially conscious statement through a routine.  They're artists and if they want to use their art to say something significant, they should absolutely do that.  On the other hand, if you're going to tell me the statement you intend to make and the piece is so abstract (or in this case, kind of generic) that I can't see what it has to do with what you told me it's about - it's only going to seem puzzling rather than powerful.  Such was the case with Chris's piece dedicated to the invisible children of Congo and Uganda. I was getting "anger" from the piece but other than that, I didn't see what it had to do with anything.  If that were the only problem with it, it might have been salvageable but Mitchell and Caitlynn weren't in sync, they were dancing it with vastly different degrees of emotion (Caitlynn looked overcome with anger and grief, Mitchell looked thoughtful and introspective) and none of it looked anything like hip hop. 
Caitlynn: C
Mitchell: C
Choreography: C-
Overall Grade: C

Dance: Contemporary, Travis Wall
Song: "Piece of My Heart - Janis Joplin
This was a steamy, provocative, interesting number that I thoroughly enjoyed because it was well choreographed and they danced the hell out of it.  Caitlynn is incredibly sexy without ever once trying to be sexy which is a notable contrast in a season when Jordan won't stop telling us how sexy she is while putting all her effort into it and only coming off as slutty or trashy.  Both Caitlynn and Mitchell have perfect kicks and enviable extension every time.  They were able to more than make up for their poor showing in the first dance with this number. 
Caitlynn: A
Mitchell: A
Choreography: A
Overall Grade: A

Melanie and Marko

Dance: Tango, Louis Van Amstel
Song: "Triptico" - Gotan Project
I won't lie to you, even to my un-trained eye, it wasn't perfect.  I caught some tentative and awkward footwork in a couple of closed-hold turns and at the very beginning they were both a bit stilted.  But they worked through it really well, they performed it with confidence even when their feet seemed unsure and by the end, they looked completely amazing.  Particularly the lift at the end was un-fucking-believable. 
Melanie: B+
Marko: B+
Choreography: A-
Overall Grade: A-

Dance: Contemporary, Dee Caspary
Song: "Skin & Bones" - David J. Roch
The concept is that of a couple who are in different places in the relationship - her wanting to move forward and him afraid to change anything.  They dance around a single, hanging light bulb which is the light that acts as a metaphor for moving on which means she's trying to drag him toward it while he tries to pull her away from it.  It was powerful and sad and danced with conviction and grace as all of their dances are.  I loved it.
Melanie: A
Marko: A
Choreography: A
Overall Grade: A

Clarice and Jess

Dance: Hip Hop, Christopher Scott
Song: "Just The Way You Are" - Boyce
The conceit is her looking in a mirror and feeling less than beautiful while he paints her.  The entire thing with the painting was cheesy and unnecessary but the meat of the dance was great.  It was inventive and sweet and they danced it perfectly in sync and with admirable accuracy.  I was particularly impressed with how well he handled himself in this style because I didn't expect him to be remotely believable. 
Clarice: A-
Jess: A-
Choreography: A-
Overall Grade: A-

Dance: Jive, Tony Meredith and Melanie LaPatin
Song: "Ain't Nothing Wrong With That" - Robert Randolph & the Family Band
This jive was quite a bit more fun to watch than most jives and I give a lot of credit for that to the dancers.  They don't have the best chemistry I've ever seen on the show but they do manage to play off of each other and appear to have fun with what they're doing in a way that brings the audience in.  I thought she was a bit heavier; a bit less bouncy and light than he was but not so much that she looked totally out-matched. 
Clarice: B+
Jess: A-
Choreography: A-
Overall Grade: A-

Predictions:
Bottom Three: Ryan and Ricky; Jordan and Tadd; Caitlynn and Mitchell
Will Go Home: Ryan and Ricky
Should Go Home: Ryan and Alexander